1. Resist the urge to call her and tell her anything
If you have children you have to see them, do it out of the house and away from your ex. Go to your parents, a friends, the park anywhere, but where your ex is. And get away from ASAP. Reason being the longer your in her company the more you’ll miss her or tell her rubbish like, “Your getting your head around things.
2. Make sure you go for a walk every evening, around 2-3 hours before you go to bed.
The fresh air and the physical movement will help lift your spirits and you may actually begin to resolve things while your walking.
3. Twice a day, sit in silence for 5-15 minutes.
Focus on your breathing, expand your stomach as you breath in, contract it as you breath out. Thoughts will come and go. Acknowledge them and write them down if they are persistent. Then get back to focusing on your breathing. This is good for relieving stress, both on the brain and the body.
4. Consider mediation, coaching or counselling.
This way you can resolve the nitty-gritty such as who has the crystal vase and who pays the mortgage and for how long, plus how you share the lives of little Johnny and Jane. Go to mediation to arrive at a fair understanding of how you dissolve things.
Get coaching on how you move forward in your life and how you can both work effectively with your kids. Go for councilling if you are unable to resolve your own issues. Later, when you get involved again you might want to look at what’s on offer for step parents.
5. Use your lawyer sparingly.
Try to avoid mud slinging. Try to avoid Court. It costs a fortune. Settle the divorce as quickly and simply as possible. Be aware if you get into haggling over something worth less than several thousand, it might well cost you more that that value in legal fees. You’d be better off buying a new one and sparing yourself any bad feelings. Having said that, don’t be walked all over. Be clear on what’s fair. Be prepared to give and take in the negotiation. Listen to the advice your given. You’re paying for it.
6. Look for your opportunity.
During all the confusion and reorganising things please consider that in every challenge, there is an opportunity for growth. Look for your opportunity.